You are Enough – ft. Body Image Issues & Body Positivity

We try to conquer not feeling beautiful all our lives. It’s a battle that can’t be won. There’s no definition of beauty. The only way to achieve breaking down into individual physical attributes. ~Miley Cirus

Living in the 21st century has not been able to resolve the oldest form of repression related to body image. Society promotes unrealistic body image ideals which an individual has to match. This notion of ideal body type can lead to various body image issues in an individual, turning them to question their body shape, size, colour, and multiple aspects. As a result, many individuals experience depression, anger, anxiety, and even self-loathing. There are many instances where one cannot form a healthy social relationship and avoid reality and social interaction due to these body image issues.

Fortunately, as education and technology have advanced, the youth is coming out and accepting their body and self as it is and promoting body positivity. For instance, many movies and shows have come up, such as Gippi, Bala, Untag, that have tried to normalise the ideal body type notions prescribed by society, but still, a long way has to go. According to society, this notion of body positivity refers to an assertion that every individual deserves to have a positive body image regardless of the ideal body shape, size, and colour according to society. The notion states the same as Rachel Pate’s said, “Your weight does not define your worth”.

To gain a clear insight and understanding of body image issues and body positivity, Psytivity (Departmental Blog of the Applied Psychology Department, Shyama Prasad Mukherjee College, University of Delhi) interviewed two youths, Aasis and Yogender. They have experienced body image issues and have proudly overcome them. Aasis is currently doing a bachelor’s in Applied Psychology from Shyama Prasad Mukherjee College for Women, University of Delhi and Yogender is presently doing a bachelor’s in Political Science from Kirori Mal College, University of Delhi.

What does body positivity mean to you?

A- For me, body positivity is feeling good about yourself regardless of your size, shape, and colour of your body. It is embracing yourself and even changing but only if you want and not because of societal norms.

Y- Body positivity for me too is feeling good about yourself and being confident in one’s being. Having pride in who you are and who you want to be.

Have you ever experienced body image-related issues?

A- Yes, I have been facing it since my childhood, which has hampered my functioning. I belong to a society/family where appearance is considered more important than who you are, so I have many instances where I was compared with others regarding my weight and body size.

Y- Yes, I did face it, especially when I got out of school. I belong to a place/community where muscular body shape defines man’s existence, which has impacted me as I was labelled as “too thin”. I did face many tantrums and comparisons from my family and society regarding my body which has affected me and my mental health a lot.

Can you think of a situation where you did not feel comfortable in your own body?

A- I have had a lot of experiences, especially at family functions, where I did not feel at ease in my own body. Recently at a family function, someone stopped me from eating more food (Narrow mind thinking – “If you eat more, you grow even fatter”), which affected me greatly, and I ended up crying. I felt very uncomfortable and awkward listening to this at that moment. I’ve had other such experiences at my own family level where I sometimes was stopped to attend several family functions just because of my weight (As people are going to ask questions, the primary thing is “If a girl is fat, then how will she get married?”). I recently experienced when one of my near ones said that the guys like you because he hasn’t seen you till now.

Y- Yes, there have been many situations with me as well, during family functions. The major one I remember is when I was at the swimming pool shirtless. I was feeling so awkward standing there without any muscles and body. At that time, I felt very uncomfortable and uneasy in my own body. Even when everyone was okay with it but I was feeling very awkward and uncomfortable at the moment.

How did you overcome the problem, and how did you gain confidence in who you are now?

A- The amount of social support that I received helped me overcome this issue. There are some set of people who have supported me throughout, guided me, and motivated me. They said things like, “Yes, you can do it”, “It’s okay to be inconsistent sometimes, at least you’re trying to own yourself”). But, yes, I have played a more significant role in overcoming and strengthening my mental health and gaining confidence. My friends have pushed me to focus on my health and told me not to be ashamed of myself and be proud of who I was and not just imposed the ideal body type norm.

Y- Yes, I did overcome it, and I am on the path of gaining some amount of confidence every day. It wasn’t easy, but it motivated me and I took support from my parents and family. I started workouts and gym at my home just because I was ashamed to go out in the gym (due to my skinny body), but then I worked on it, and now I can go to gyms and workout within a set of people without getting ashamed of or getting awkward. It also led to strengthening my confidence in myself. So, yes, I have overcome a lot but still a long way to go.

According to you, which is one way to celebrate your own body?

A- According to me, the most effective way is to accept your body and self as you are, motivating yourself, as from my own experience, accepting all the scars and faults of oneself. The second way to celebrate your body is, in my view, working on yourself and your body if you feel like doing so (and not just because somebody told you to it) by taking small baby steps. All that matters is that you take that step. In my own experience, I started working on my weight by walking and working out on minimal levels. And, other is to have supportive people around you. Start embracing yourself and be like a sponge, absorb everything but do whatever sounds right to you.

Y- According to me, too, change is essential, and the significant way I can celebrate my own body is to pamper myself and my body by giving relaxing baths and massages. As we use our body and exhaust it throughout the day, we have to fuel it for further use. The best way in which I celebrate my body is by having some rose water baths with essential oils. It doesn’t matter you are a girl or a boy, but you have the right to pamper yourself and give some time to your own body. And, the best one is head massages from my mom.

What does a positive body image mean to you?

A- For me, it is to accept the way you are and not just adjusting oneself to the ideal body type norms. Along with accepting and embracing oneself, it also includes spreading awareness among people and telling others about it. Telling experiences to others will make one feel more comfortable and happier and positive about one’s own body and self.

Y- For me, a positive body image is also accepting myself and, as I’ve mentioned before, having enough self-confidence to accept your imperfections and have pride in your body and self. I can be whatever I want to be, whoever I want to be, and I am comfortable with it. I do not have to fit or accept the body norms or shapes which society internalised in us since our childhood.

Let’s say if you don’t have much time to tend to yourself, what would you will do in 15 minutes to nourish your body and self?

A- As we all experience, lack of time due to our hectic daily schedules. Whenever I get time, the main thing I do to nourish myself and my body is to call up my near and dear ones and go for a short walk. Another way to keep my body and self happy is to switch on the music, and I start dancing to the beats, jumping around, and enjoying myself.

Y- For me, if I have 15 minutes to nourish myself and my body, it will be to have baths with lots of rose water, various essential oils that will relax my body and calm my mind, as I mentioned before. Besides relaxing baths, I love to lie down and daydream about things I’d love to do one day (like acting in a movie just like my favourite actor). It makes me and my body happy, and even doing it just for 5-10 minutes a day, my day gets very busy, and my body can work throughout without getting exhausted.

Do you think society has played a role in promoting the ideal body type and body image issues?

A- Society has played a significant role in this. If society had not forced its values and passed comments on me since my childhood I could have been more positive about myself. I would not feel uncomfortable in my own body. Just a coin has two sides, likely society can make up or break up things. As I have gained strength and confidence in my own body, I have social support, as I mentioned before. Still, I got into this negative body image trap only due to the other section of people from society. And the central role in promoting these body type norms is played by TV shows, movies, web series, and social media that also have some standards and encourage those as ideal/role models, which lead to hustling in people for those kinds of body types. People start believing that if they fit in these standards, they are good people, and others will accept them. This type of notion can also lead to an increase in eating disorders, especially in girls (anorexia nervosa- as on my level, I sometimes stopped eating in front of others to avoid judgmental comments).

Y- Yes, in my view, I see that society plays a huge role in promoting these types of ideal body norms and body images, especially in adolescents and young adults. I agree that these TV shows, movies, web series, and social media platforms have increased the promotion of these body standards that lead to people having negative thoughts about themselves and even self-harm. As on my level, there are many TV shows which show that men should have a muscular body, have a beard and moustache to show their masculinity and if not then called by different names as we all know. Thus, society has played a significant role.

Can you think of a situation in your daily life where you must adhere to these ideal body type norms?

A- I have to adhere to these norms like all of my times in daily life. Like, I have also come across many situations. If somebody is getting married, especially girls, they are said to lose weight forcefully to look good in that wedding dress and accepted by society and family. The primary way I have adhered to these norms is in my dressing sense, like what I am wearing. As I do not wear clothes that are shorter/ cut sleeves and dresses, I want to but cannot because society is not comfortable with it. I will not be accepted by society as I do not fit into the body standards, norms, and categories. Society has internalised these norms in our brains from our childhood.

Y- Yes, many times in all of my daily life activities, especially in weddings where I was not allowed to wear comfortable clothes, which I want to because it will show my body and how thin I am. It will lead to people passing comments on me and even suggestions that I should gain weight and muscles and “man-up”. Another place where I had to compulsorily adhere to these norms was when I came into college. As I saw people wearing trendy and cool clothes that they aren’t comfortable in but still wear them so as to fit in the society and use different products on their bodies, I also adapted to these behaviours. But now, I have gained confidence and I work on my body because I want to.

Do you think educational institutions can play a significant role in body positivity?

A-Yes, in my opinion, it can play a substantial role as individuals will be taught about body positivity in schools and colleges. It can lead to a great awareness about it, and people will know how to deal with them. If school promotes body positivity under different curriculums, it can do great wonders for children and help them work through these issues. Along with teaching theoretical aspects, educational institutions should also focus on practical elements by using techniques like role-playing and even telling people about each other's experiences can do great wonders in the area of body positivity. If institutions will take the initiative, many can come out and stand for themselves and others too.

Y- I have a different point of view here. In my opinion, no, it does not play that much role in body positivity. Under this notion, the primary factor is that educational institutions are only operated and developed by society, especially those who promote these types of body standards and norms. Many different capitalist societies focus on making money by promoting such norms, as we can see from the example of fair and lovely, which affected a greater set of people and might decrease their confidence. Thus, in my view, till people will change their thought processes and society will transform itself, educational institutions can never play a significant role in body positivity.

One of the main reasons behind body image issues is society and its ideal body type norms. As shared by Aasis and Yogendar, how they went through many experiences, and the primary factor behind them was played by society. No matter how talented you are still, society will judge by the way you look. Due to many efforts and even small achievements of different individuals, this issue has been put across. And people are now empowered with a thought in mind that “it is okay to be who you are and not who others want you to be”.

On a positive note,

"Khoobiyan dhoondo khaamiyan nahi"

Interviewee:

Aasis Sethi

Yogender

Written by:

Ishika Khandelwal

Reviewed by:

Manvi Mehrotra