Stress: The Untold Story of a Student’s Life

“What doesn’t kill you makes you stressed”

What comes to your mind when you hear the word “stress”? Sweating? Increased heart rate? Nervousness? The feeling of puking or dying?

Do you remember movies like “Table no. 21” where the honeymooning couple had to go through so many situations which triggered their past conflicts and issues and hence made them stressed and worn out by the end? Or “Luck” and the sheer tension of watching a literal Russian roulette, not knowing who would die next?

Stress is an overused word. We use this word to put emphasis on a sentence or phrase and to define any uncomfortable feeling that we feel. But stress is much more than this.

Stress, according to American Psychological Association, refers to the “physiological or psychological response to internal or external stressors”. When we are under stress, we experience changes, both physically and psychologically. Think of when you had your first-ever board exam: the sleeplessness or extreme exhaustion, the negative thoughts of “would I make it?”, the tension in your body, or even forgetting whatever you have learned whenever you saw a sample paper. All these show how the stress of the upcoming exams affected your physical and mental health. When this stress reaches unhealthy levels, that is, when it starts affecting your day to day life negatively, then it can lead to physical or psychological disorders. This negative stress is distress.

Of course, not all stress is bad. Stress is an essential part of our lives. Imagine, if you never felt stress, how would you react to exams? Would you be as concerned? Or would you just throw all the cares in the air and go to Netflix and chill? Some stress is extremely important as it helps us to encounter and respond to an uncertain and challenging situation. It gets our hormones flowing to activate the popular fight-or-flight response, which helps us to either fight the situation or fly from it. But, as they say: Excess of everything is bad.

“Life is a race if you don’t run fast you will be a broken Anda (egg)” ~Virus, 3 Idiots

What Causes Stress?

Stress, pressure, or tension, has been around for a long time and is not something manufactured in the 2010s. Remember the iconic song “Under Pressure” by Queen and David Bowie? That song is purely about stress and how being under pressure “burns a building down” and “splits the family in two”, “pushing down on me and you”.

But how exactly does stress or pressure come into play?

• Peer Pressure – Louis Tomlinson once sang “Because nobody cares when you’re boring” and this rings true in a student’s life a lot. Peers are one of the most important parts of their life. They influence the behaviour, attitude, and value systems of their classmates, especially when the student needs acceptance and belongingness. They often change their attitude and behaviour and action so as to get the sense of belongingness and look “cool” among their friends. Thus apart from the usual academic pressure, they have to follow the trends popular amongst their peers. If they fail to follow they know they’d be isolated and tagged as “old school” or even bullied.

• Academic Stress – The requirement of today’s life is to have good grades, confidence, good communication skills, knowledge, and to be tech-savvy. A student needs to be an all-rounder to be successful. They first need to attend school and then deal with the tuitions, and then in the remaining time, they are busy completing their assignments, deadlines, examinations, and tests. Added to this is the pressure of cut-offs for college admission. In the present scenario, these cut-offs are touching a literal hundred percent and getting a good college is a necessity for good higher education. The education system is not about engaging in learning anymore; rather it has become a factory manufacturing students with prestigious degrees of qualification but zero learning.

• Social Media – Social media is a platform that may or may not have given anything potential (the debate is still ongoing), but it has set some norms. Norms about physical appearance, feminism, sexism, queerphobia, and racism are to name a few. While these norms, can help the individuals suffering from them, but after a point, they just become a roundabout way of imposing the stereotypes and hate on them again. We can never forget the contribution of various fandoms and other normal accounts on Twitter and TikTok during BLM. But while these platforms help spread awareness about various issues, they also take away the natural process of maturity for young people and narrows their reality to a world of utopia where everyone thinks and functions in the same manner. They start to push themselves to be the epitome of perfection just like others. And when this doesn’t happen, it creates stress. It increases when they see others having a picture-perfect life and not themselves: Why is everybody living such a smooth life? Will my life be only hard work? Why is it with me only?

• Societal Norms – Society sets certain standards of acceptable and unacceptable behaviour. Today, societal norms for students focus more and more upon studies than anything else. In some houses, the television is kept off during exams because it is believed to deviate the concentration of the child. Not every profession is seen by everyone. A boy making dance his profession is looked down upon (Remember the movie ABCD?), a girl applying for anything besides a teacher is still seen as a strange thing. Following your passion like dance, singing or art is not considered a proper course of work. Think of Farhan and his love for wildlife photography, and how he still had to go study engineering. The societal norms even decide the kind of students who go in each stream: Science students are studious, commerce ones are fine and humanities students are dull.

• Parental pressure – Some parents accept the child the way they are and support them. Then there are those parents who intentionally or unintentionally suppress the child to fulfil their own dreams, by hook or by crook. The environment of fear and strictness creates stress in the children to please them. They define the worthiness of a child based upon the grades they achieve and fail to focus upon their other skills or qualities. This contributes to the academic pressure that the child faces the higher they go in studies. Comparison with other children (“Your friend got 94% and you just 89%? What will I tell the neighbours?”) questions the uniqueness and the potential of the child. They fail to explore themselves, and become dependent and less responsible for their life, as they live under constant pressure to prove themselves to the people who matter the most.

• Traumatic experiences – Certain events in life are sometimes so shocking that it is difficult to overcome them and the person might forget about their aims and ambitions. Students can be affected by extreme poverty, physical or sexual assault, violence or divorce of parents or the death of a loved one. Physical, sexual, and psychological trauma in childhood may lead to many difficulties in later childhood, adolescence, or adulthood. The victim’s anger, shame, and despair can be directed inwards and symptoms such as depression, anxiety, suicidal ideation, and post-traumatic stress can arise, or directed outwards in the form of aggression, impulsiveness, delinquency, hyperactivity, and substance abuse. The event, if not resolved in time, can create extreme stress and deep scars.

“Call it stress, tension, anxiety, depression. Essentially it’s just this: your intelligence has turned against you.” ~Sadhguru

How Does Stress Affect Health?

In the Oscar-winning movie Black Swan, Nina (played by Natalie Portman) is an upcoming ballerina, but her problem? She is a perfectionist. And this perfectionism leads her to become so stressed out, she drives herself crazy. Not only does this stress stop her from achieving her best, but it also affects her relationships and physical and mental health. Nina is a prime example of how distress, can cause you extreme damage.

Stress can cause headaches, upset stomach, elevated blood pressure, and chest pain. Coronary heart diseases are a direct result of distress. Fatigue and sleep problems, like insomnia, are quite common for people with high levels of stress. Not only does distress affects our sleep and heart, but it also affects our sexual drive. Stomach ulcers, gastroenteritis, weight loss, nausea, and muscle pain are some of the problems associated with distress, as experienced by one of the authors herself.

Have you ever looked at the number of tasks you have to do and feel the energy draining out of your body? This is the result of getting overwhelmed with our work. We feel anxious about the future and frustrated at ourselves, others and the situation. Social withdrawal, depression, and lack of motivation are some other ways in which we are affected by distress.

Burnout happens to a lot of people in today’s hectic lifestyle. It is exhaustion, reduced interest and identification with one’s task, and decreased performance capability. Especially in today’s times, with Covid clutching the world in its hold and people having to suddenly shift completely to technology and stick at home, burnout has become the story of every student, worker, and house maker.

“The greatest weapon against stress is our ability to choose one thought over the other” ~William James

How to Handle Stress?

Even though life is filled with ups and downs, we need to live a positive life to be able to overcome the downs and enjoy the ups. Louis Tomlinson, in his song, Don’t Let It Break Your Heart, talks about this only, and how we should not let it break us down. Dealing with it all is important. Along with some self-motivation, several techniques could work successfully:

• Time Management equals less stress: Time management is the best way we could focus upon our studies as well as brush up our skills. Scheduling everything in advance prepares you well in advance and you can achieve your goals in a better way. Just like a class time table, make a home time table and try following it for a week. You’ll see what we’re talking about.

• Speak Now: No, we’re not talking about Taylor Swift’s album! The point is to speak out what you feel. Bottling up your thoughts and needs can cause you unnecessary tension. The friction between you and your parents could get better if you tell them your wants and needs. Many friendships and relationships are saved from turning to dust when you speak up. So, instead of mulling over everything in your head, put them out in the open, and take that burden off your shoulder.

• Love Thyself!: Self-exploration might be a big problem, but self-acceptance is bigger. Low self-acceptance can cause your real self and ideal self to wage a war against each other and that causes stress. Keep telling yourself “I am the best. I do not need the approval of others to accept myself. I am unique and I have my own qualities, which makes me me.” Keep in mind, whoever you are, however, your qualities are, even with your tears falling down, “you’re perfect now” (Louis Tomlinson, Perfect Now)

• Counseling Cure: Another best way to deal with distress is to get counseling. This way you can achieve your goals and also deal with the anxiety, panic, or any kind of stress in your life. A counselor can provide appropriate guidance for stress. Dealing with any kind of abuse can become easy with the help of the counselor. Counseling not only helps you deal with stress, but also helps with career-related issues, and that is an added bonus!

In the end, remember to just breathe. As Harry Styles once said, “Everything’s gonna be fine”. And everything will be alright! You’ll be alright. Just like Elsa sang in Let It Go, once you make some distance from your problems and worries, everything seems small. Focus on your present, on your breath, and on the positive sides of any situation in your life and you’ll do just fine!

“Our anxiety does not come from thinking about the future, but from wanting to control it.” ~Kahlil Gibran

Written By:

Vani Sabharwal

Vanshika

Reviewed By:

Manvi Mehrotra

Aasis Kaur Sethi