REFLECTING ON FEBRUARY: IS LOVE REALLY IN THE AIR?

February is easily the most fascinating, probably even the most awaited, month on the calendar. This can be credited to its brevity and popularisation as, 'The Month of Love and Romance'. One question that might come to mind is, why February? Why limit celebrating love to this particular month? Well, we will need to go back to the 14th century when a day originally celebrated by Christians to honor a martyr named Saint Valentine came to be associated with the idea of love and affection. The Feast of Saint Valentine was originally revered by Pope Gelasius I in AD 496 on February 14 but it wasn't until much later that Valentine's day we know today came into being.

Now that we are talking about love, what do you think it is? Each one of us might differ in great lengths about our definitions of love, but according to renowned psychologist Robert Sternberg, love is made of three components- passion, intimacy, and commitment. According to his triangular theory of love, Romantic lovers are bonded emotionally and physically through passionate arousal. According to him, to call any relationship romantic, there should be two prerequisites- passion and intimacy. Psychologists all over the world agree that feelings of love and affection have an effect on the overall quality of life and well-being and Valentine's day is all about celebrating this feeling.

One would assume that this month of love brings joy and a sense of warmth with it. However, the festive celebrations are not kind to everyone alike. While many celebrate Valentine's week with their partners, this month can act as a constant reminder of not having someone to share it with. While we completely agree that there is nothing more beautiful than two people in love, we should also acknowledge how these festivities and traditions are not for everyone to enjoy.

Seeing social media stories and posts of couples celebrating different days of this week can cause a huge deal of anxiety and feelings of loneliness in others. Sadness is not the first thing that comes to mind when we think about Valentine's Day, but it often goes together when you've suffered from a recent breakup or are dissatisfied with your love life. Moreover, it's more than normal to feel a little jealous or even sad when you see love everywhere around you. Becoming a little insecure and wondering about your love life is normal, especially when app notifications, social media advertisements, and everything else around you remind you of how much in love everyone else is.

Unfortunately, being in love alone is not enough to be happy on Valentine's Day either. You would be surprised to know how often expectations from one's partner lead to disappointments and even fights in this "week of love." As happy-go-lucky as it sounds, love is more complicated than that. Furthermore, the coming of Valentine's traditions is rather new in India. People across different generations might not be equally big fans of this adopted festival. Call it xenophobia or simply the generation gap, it is not rare for many to look down on the traditions due to them not being naturally Indian and reflecting Western ideology.

Well, celebrate it or not, you cannot ignore the transformations Valentine's causes everywhere. Decorations, movies, offers, everything becomes a silent alarm to the arrival of this day. Over the last few years, many brands have made a fortune by marketing their idea of love during this time. It has become one of the biggest commercial opportunities for marketers as they sway people to buy their products as gifts for loved ones. Many new products which never even existed before have come up, all thanks to Valentine's week. Originally started as a day to confess one's feelings through simple letters, the traditions have seen a huge shift as they now focus on expensive gifts like chocolates and flowers. One interesting story to mention here is of a boy who robbed a store only to buy Valentine's gifts for his girlfriend. This kind of pressure that sees only one right way to celebrate the festival also becomes problematic. We would expect the festival most closely associated with love to be more accommodating than that.

But why restrict Valentine's to just interpersonal relationships, what about one's intrapersonal relationship? How about practicing some self-love? After all,

I can buy myself flowers

Write my name in the sand

Talk to myself for hours

Say things you don't understand

I can take myself dancing

And I can hold my own hand

Yeah, I can love me better than you can

-Miley Cyrus

While it's important to value yourself all the time, it becomes essentially important during such a time when you might feel more vulnerable. The first step to loving yourself is to understand that it's okay to feel low while everyone else is seemingly happy. It is important to realize that only when you are happy and content as an individual, can you look for outside sources of happiness. Sure, relationships with others are very important to us and there's no denying that, but remember there's one person who'll never break up with you or give up on you, and that is you! So, the next time you see a sunflower, buy it for yourself as you would for someone you love, and watch how you become the one you love the most.

Written by: Manya Jain (2nd year)

Reviewed by:-

Palak Singla (Senior Content Team Coordinator| Senior Editor-In-Chief)

Santushti Anand (Senior Deputy Content Team Coordinator| Senior Deputy Editor-In-Chief)

Jaya Kumari (Content Team Coordinator| Editor-In-Chief)

Bhavi Takkar (Deputy Content Team Coordinator| Deputy Editor-In-Chief)

Akshita Tanwar (Associate Editor)