Look Beyond The Labels: StopTheName-Calling

An observation or labelling? A joke or belittlement? A nickname or an inaccurate exaggeration? An angry remark or a verbal attack?

"Awkward," "dramatic," "snowflake," "fake," "dumb," "weak," "ugly," "silly," and "stupid"—have you ever heard such things said about you? If so, did you object to it or not? Or did you use similar language toward someone?

Dismissing a person or group’s experiences by calling them names is one of the most damaging forms of bullying. It occurs all too often in our daily lives, whether in the classroom, at work, online, or even with our friends and family. A person or group can be subjected to name-calling- a type of verbal abuse when they are given demeaning labels and dismissive language during conflicts or even in casual situations. Over time, this form of mental exploitation eats away at the self-esteem and self-confidence of the person being name-called and leaves a lasting effect on their personality and well-being.

How has name-calling crept into our culture?

In Classrooms: Have you been called or heard someone else being called an "idiot," "loser," or "failure" by a teacher? Or have you heard a peer refer to you or someone else as "dramatic," "fake," "slow" or other words like these, or maybe you referred to someone else in the same way? If the answer is "yes," there's no doubt about how name-calling has become so normalized in our lives. Name-calling of peers based on their gender or sexual identity is even more prevalent nowadays among younger people. "Homo" and "gay" are a few of the more popular words they used to ridicule one another.

In Dating Relationships: Name-calling is also a sign of abuse in dating relationships which many people often pass over. In other words, it’s one of the biggest red flags of an abusive relationship. The summary report of the National Intimate Partner and Sexual Violence Survey (2012) revealed that being called names (like ugly, fat, stupid) is the most common form of psychological aggression by an intimate partner that is experienced by women, and for men is the second most common forms of psychological aggression by an intimate partner. “It was funny, come on!” “I just described what you look like, big deal!” “I was just angry. It spilled out of my mouth.” People often get to hear such replies when they call out their partners for belittling them verbally or when they disguise disparaging comments as jokes. Such verbally abusive partners often do act as though what they’ve said is trivial or as if nothing has happened. This is because they feel in control after doing so. It is the repeated pattern that, over time, can make the victim believe the insults, making it harder for them to think otherwise such as "they said I look ugly so I should compensate for it by being nicer"—that is what transforms name-calling into verbal abuse.

User @anonymous commented: you're such a ****: In this era of social media, unfortunately, platforms like Twitter, YouTube, and Instagram have become breeding grounds for cyberbullying. A person becomes even more susceptible to name-calling online than in person because of the anonymity of the users and/or the inability of the abused to reach out to the abuser in person. If you stop scrolling through your Instagram feed and go to any popular celebrity’s post, you'll discover at least one person with a random username and no profile picture who is quite effective at passing judgment and labels onto the individual.

For example,

"Wears branded clothes?" "She's a rich brat.”

“Does social work?" "Such a show-off!”

“Has pictures with many girls; he must be a player.”

"Is dyslexic?" "She's a retard."

"Wears nail paint?" "Such a homo."

This form of cyberbullying could have long-term effects on the victims.

Beauty standards and name-calling: Dove, a popular beauty brand, released a commercial film as part of their global Self-Esteem Project as a plea to end name-calling. The film features some Filipino women who had been the victims of bullying and teasing name-calling when they were younger, and how those experiences had impacted their self-esteem as growing up. In the Philippines, one in two girls are name-called by their families for their looks, says Dove. Young girls get called names for their imperfections by their families, which causes them to internalize these words and insecurities and pass them on to the next generation. Children who receive criticism or teasing about their appearance from family members are more obsessed with their appearance, dissatisfied with their bodies, compare themselves to friends, control weight in an unhealthy range, and experience depression, according to Professor Phillippa Diedrichs, a Dove partner and research psychologist and body image expert.

“Of course, it's just a joke.” OR IS IT?: Many people are verbally abused regularly without even recognizing that it's happening. Everyone makes lighthearted jokes with their loved ones. Often, this "teasing" goes so far that one has to wonder if it was meant to be humorous or insulting. Being constantly labelled stupid, annoying, unfunny, or uninteresting by a buddy as a joke can sap your self-worth without you even realizing it. Additionally, Indian comedy TV shows continuously support these allegedly "harmless" gags that often denigrate characters based on their looks, colour, race, sex, and other characteristics. In their comedic punches, for instance, husbands frequently use adjectives like "dumb," "bossy," "feisty," and "frightening" to describe their women counterparts. We need to stop laughing at such "jokes" that try to shrink a person’s identity.

Why does one engage in name-calling?

Watching their elders engage in name-calling, children not only learn to put labels on people or groups of people but often do develop a set of prejudiced beliefs and attitudes about them.

Sometimes, those who engage in name-calling do it to simply hurt another person. Thus, name-calling often occurs when higher-level conflict resolution skills are lacking. Often, it occurs as a last-ditch effort to win an argument when all other reasonable and creative strategies fail.

Even while calling someone a name is typically perceived as harsh, kids frequently use it as a way to bond with one another. For example, they may call themselves jocks or geeks, which fosters a sense of friendship and belonging for their group of friends. However, they also shift this labelling inward, making "them" appear bad and "we" appear positive.

Sometimes people call other people names simply to seek attention or because they like seeing how others react. Some could refer to this as "pushing your buttons".

People with narcissist tendencies have an unreasonably high sense of self-importance and extreme self-involvement to the degree that it makes a person ignore the needs of those around them and they often exploit others without guilt or shame, name-calling them to express their displeasure or defensive tactic. Such a person may assault a person verbally and then call them "too sensitive", thus invalidating them.

Other causes of name-calling may include poor communication skills, insensitivity, aggression, poor anger management skills, and naive or illogical thinking.

How can name-calling affect an individual?

Putting derogatory labels on someone is a form of emotional and mental abuse, which may have lasting repercussions on the victim. Several such consequences are discussed as follows.

• Strips the person of a healthy sense of self-worth

A person, for instance, who is constantly called ‘dumb’ or ‘stupid’ may start feeling that they aren’t smart or good enough for certain opportunities and not even go after goals they are more than capable of achieving.

• Impacts a person’s identity amongst peers

When a person receives a cruel remark frequently enough, other people start to link that remark to that person. For instance, if someone is called a 'cheater' enough times, others may begin to believe that that person is a cheater and therefore cannot be trusted.

• Activates a person's inner critic

When people get called names, they begin to relate to it and start to condemn themselves for it. It's challenging to turn off this internal critic once it's been triggered.

• Compromises a person’s mood

It's very usual for someone who has been the target of insults to feel anxious and distressed, which affects their ability to sleep and their mood.

• Adverse effects on mental health

Perhaps the effects of name-calling on a person's mental health are the most concerning. Victims of name-calling may develop melancholy as a result of a decreased sense of self-esteem and self-concept, which makes them feel unworthy, hopeless, inadequate, and out of control in thought.

Ways of healthier interactions

To engage in healthier verbal communication in our relationships, it is important to first recognize signs of name-calling in all kinds of relationships.

• They say criticizing words with no intention of being constructive.

• They use words to shame you or make you feel inferior.

• They make jokes at your expense.

• They humiliate you in public.

• They swear at you or yell derogatory words.

• They call you names, though in a neutral voice.

When one can identify these indicators, it is important to express one's feelings to the person calling the said names. To stop verbal abuse in partnerships, communication is essential. Sometimes, name-calling can develop into a vicious cycle where the negativity of both parties is fueled. The victim feeds the cycle with criticism, blame, humiliation, and other negative emotions. This negativity is channelled by the abuser into verbal abuse and rage. To break the cycle, both sides must participate. It's crucial to learn how to identify and communicate one's needs effectively.

Therefore, it is important to interact with people around us in a more realistic, patient, and constructive manner, where we refrain from name-calling and engage in healthier, non-abusive interactions. As one of the typical starting points for name-calling is an argument, it is important to note that arguing in relationships is normal and an important way to express oneself. Thus healthy arguments occur when participants play "fair" and do not resort to name-calling, threats, or manipulation. Ideally, there should be active listening, patience, and compromise for a healthy exchange of feelings, perspectives, and thoughts.

So be careful of what you say. And the next time you get name-called, call out that friend, that elder, that mentor, that stranger you met on the internet and anyone who calls you an offensive name, for sticks and stones may break your bones AND words can hurt you too!

References

6 negative effects of name calling – MakeYouThink. (2020, January 20). MakeYouThink – Character Education. Retrieved January 22, 2023, from https://makeyouthink.com/6-negative-effects-of-name-calling/

#StopTheNameCalling: these Filipino women take a stand against labels and stereotypes. ((n.d.). Cosmopolitan. Retrieved August 21, 2023, from https://www.cosmo.ph/beauty/stopthenamecalling-these-filipino-women-take-a-stand-against-labels-and-stereotypes-adv-con

Psychological aggression and domestic violence. (2015, January 7). DomesticShelters.org. Retrieved January 21, 2023, from https://www.domesticshelters.org/resources/statistics/psychological-aggression-and-domestic-violence

Slaatten, H., Anderssen, N., & Hetland, J. (2015). Gay-related name-calling among Norwegian adolescents--harmful and harmless. Scandinavian journal of psychology, 56(6), 708–716. https://doi.org/10.1111/sjop.12256

Walters, M., Jenkins, L., & Merrick, M. (2012). National intimate partner and sexual violence survey (NISVS): Summary of findings for 2010. PsycEXTRA Dataset. ttps://doi.org/10.1037/e621642012-003

Written by: Preeti Rajput (2nd year)

Reviewed by:-

Palak Singla (Senior Content Team Coordinator| Senior Editor-In-Chief)

Santushti Anand (Senior Deputy Content Team Coordinator| Senior Deputy Editor-In-Chief)

Jaya Kumari (Content Team Coordinator| Editor-In-Chief)

Bhavi Takkar (Deputy Content Team Coordinator| Deputy Editor-In-Chief)

Siya Kumar (Associate Editor)